His father was an internationally famous crossing guard. His mother was a seatbelt designer for Volvo. They believed in prolonging their lives and preventing injury through whatever means necessary. It was only natural that they would name their child "Safety". In truth, his Mom and Dad didn't like Safety (the child) as much as they liked safety (the concept). And Safety the concept was unattainable, but they just simply ignored this fact. His, like most well-meaning but ultimately shortsighted parents, adopted "Safety First!" as the unofficial family motto. This meant that anything that seemed to them to be remotely dangerous would be tested by Safety first, to make sure it would not imperil his parents. The reasoning was that while the mother and father were safe, the family unit could continue to produce more test subjects, er, children, which kept their family bloodlines safe. To assuage what little guilt they might have felt, they got him a dog named Caution ("Safety first, use Caution!")
So when Volvo called upon his mother to design seatbelts for a space shuttle, it was Safety who blasted off into orbit by himself (well, nearly by himself, Caution came along) and did the field report for his mom. It was Safety who filled in for his scared father during a particularly difficult street crossing assignment in downtown Ho Chi Min City during rush hour. And it was Safety who had to take a bite of every meal the family ate to make sure it wasn't poisoned. And to check the house for lurking murderers when the family got home late. And to get rid of spiders that might be poisonous. And stick his head out into the road to see if cars were coming.
Safety didn't really mind this---it didn't occur to him to mind, since it had been that way since he was born. He had never been told he couldn't do something because it wasn't safe, he had been told TO do things specifically because they weren't safe, and consequently had a much different approach to the world in general. He just sort of went headlong into things…Safety as a concept didn't really apply to him, ironically enough.
Which is why it was so strange when he died. You'd have thought that with parents as terrified of the world as his, Safety would have been warned about pools and the ocean, or at least been taught to swim. But no, in their fear, his parents had avoided all water completely, and never told their son about it either. So when Safety finally came to the ocean one day after getting kicked off the boardwalk for unsafely juggling chainsaws at Venice beach, he had no idea what it was or what it did. He just walked straight in, without Caution, and drowned.
His parents named their next child--a girl--Curiosity, in the hopes that a subject, er, daughter with a voraciously inquisitive mind would be a little safer. They got her a kitten, too. Surely nothing could go wrong this time.
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